Will Go To Jail For Lorde

An excerpt from a minute in Mike Mahers brain

Dear Diary,

Spring is here and that means among the annual migration of birds, rain and pastel colored shorts is Jazz Fest, bringing the usual litany of Jimmy Buffett and Jimmy Buffett-esque performers in large text on top of the likely more deserving small text performers from all over the world. I can’t afford to spend $80 to see a bunch of performers I don’t care to see and I probably will be working for New Orleans Kayak Swamp Tours throughout all Jazz Fest, but I would be so down to see Lorde. Unless I find a bunch of twenties floating down Pearl River (which does happen from time to time), there is no way it’s happening. I would almost shell out the $80 I owe my roommate or be a week late on rent but I feel like if I wanted to go that badly I would actually just sneak in. Cause not only would I be able to pay my roommate back but I would have a small adventure likely involving climbing a tree, running from security and narrowly avoiding jail (hopefully) to watch the tail end of a Lorde concert (tail end because you gotta pre-game and I probably worked that morning). It’s all good though, cause it will probably rain like it does every year. Come to think of it, I’m relieved at all of the old co-workers I won’t run into by avoiding Jazz Fest.